When my shadow is not upon me, I can almost feel normal. Well, as normal as someone with GAD can feel I suppose. I can usually go out to the shops for a little while, without feeling anxious and panicked. An anxious free me is almost confident and talkative.
However, on the flip side, when I get a panic attack or feel anxious, I feel as though everyone is watching me and I can`t concentrate on anything. I have certain things that I use to try and make it easier, but these things can look odd and draw attention.
One of the things I have is a Vick`s inhaler that helps me to distract my senses long enough to break the cycle. So far, this as worked well, but it becomes a problem if I am out anywhere. I guess it would look pretty odd seeing a person with an inhaler wedged up their nose and that is exactly how I feel when I am in public.
I try to `sniff` in private if I can, but this just makes me look like some sort of junkie or secret e-cigarette user. Even so, I don’t always get a handle on my anxiety and I have to use it in front of other people. I feel very embarrassed and foolish for doing it, but the anxiety is overwhelming.
I am then torn between trying not to use it so I don’t`t look stupid and getting very anxious because I am not using it. Talk about a vicious circle.
I have just had one such episode while trying to navigate myself around Waitrose. Not the kind of place you want people to be staring at you. I am still feeling the effects while I am writing this, so apologies if this is a bit gibberish.