It has long been a realisation of mine that my anxiety likes to make me doubt everything I do. This might sound extreme, but to those who do not suffer from anxiety or depression, it can be a difficult concept to fathom.
A confident person will think of the positive in almost all situations, driving themselves to their ultimate goal. Someone with anxiety however, will have every positive thought matched by a equally negative and very persuasive one.
Many my say that it is ‘just a matter of perspective’ or ‘all in the mind’, but although it is the mind doing the thinking, it is the anxiety controlling the mind.
I have been doing this blog for over six months and I have really enjoyed it. I don’t look to views or readers to justify my blogging, but I want to make something that is interesting and maybe a little bit helpful.
My anxious mind however, constantly yells at me to stop, because no-one cares. While this might be true for many, I am looking for just one person to look at it and like what they see.
If only one person likes it, then I have done what I set out to do. That doesn’t stop my anxiety trying to pollute the idea though, especially at night.
I am determined however, that this is a long term project, that many have been on this road far longer than me. As the expression goes ‘this is a marathon, not a sprint’, writing a few articles and then giving up isn’t going to do any good to anyone.
The determination to do things before it is too late is still there and nothing is going to stop that.